Hey y'all,
I know it's a while ago since I've written something in here.. But..well. My IEC (International Exchange Coordinator) told me it might be hard to go back, it might be one of the hardest things about the exchange year. I tell ya, it's true! :-D
I have/ had a small depression. You miss to speak English all the time, when you go back you think, naively, everything will go back to as it was before you've left, but that's not the case. My friends changed over the year as well as I did. It feels like almost all of them can't understand me. Well, of course they can't because they haven't been through all of these things over the last year. If I tell them I feel depressed they look puzzled and it looks like they are thinking: "Why should she be depressed she just lived her dream and now she is back at home with her friends and family" Of course that's true but it's only half of the story.. Some of them don't even want to stay in touch with me eventhough I'm back now and we could do things together again.. at least that's how it feels like... with others I don't want any contact anymore because how they live is not the way I want to live... I feel lonely and misunderstood a lot and it makes me so sad. I'm afraid I'll lose what I've learned over the last year so I'm trying to watch as many movies and read as many in English as I can but it feels like it's not enough. If I skype with my hostfamily etc it feels so good to talk in English again.. but after this hour it's over again.. and I recognize how much I miss it.
Well.. that's, basically, how I felt/ feel the last couple of weeks..
But it can only get better, can't it? ;)
Love, Luisa
